"Tripping on a Blue Hole in a Paper Heart" by Begoña Montesinos
Whispering, stunningly beautiful landscape wrapped around my heart as magic is revealed to me in a second. As a cure to my grieving soul, crawling while lost in a picturesque forest made of paper heart and loneliness. Could it be the perfect dream, everything we, as tiny beings, aspire to? Drizzle all over, bouncing, caressing heaven on ground, minimal consciousness embraced by the sweetest and fragile touch, maybe God-like paradise creating a blue symphony of what is to be loved, or is it just me and my journey to the never ending pure land of fertile leaves and trees?
I was waiting for the brightest of the suns to wake me up when I saw her, carrying the mildest tenderness as a halo, that of the blessed born, the unique creatures who shine on us. She, goddess of our debilitating Earth, was to name me, or should I say, call me by using no words? Words, oh, they lost their meaning, breathless, abandoning me as an ethereal but fresh breeze dancing in the air, eyes closed, feeling a thick fog all around my invisible body, which played dead, numb by the night, whose dark curtain used to announce and welcome the yellow moon in me. Did she call my name? Was I tripping on a hole, embedded by the perfect fantasy? Who I was to meet?
Navigate, sail the infinite ocean ahead of me, timing the unexplored rhythm that creates the beating of my half heart, lost in an immense and vast feeling of fulfillment when being surrounded by deepness and the mysterious hand of the unknown. Shaking the very human in me, I surrender and show my humbleness by landing on safe grounds, terrified by the mundane that is to reside in us, feeling the earth moving under my feet, spiraling out of control in a turbulence, grabbing my hand tightly. Would I ever be the same person again? Not to be answered. Not in a near future. Not now.
What is to be known seems to vanish in a frivolous and forgettable moment out of logic in this world full of hatred. No remorse to be counted as guilt. Yet we flow together in a cloud, dense as the not revealed secret that lies upon us, that of the unselfish and pure love, that of giving and sharing regardless of conventions. What are they made of? Who is to blame? Get away from me!
And I arrived to that precious lake when opening my eyes and I was able to see her again above the bluest waters, transparent, drawing a colorful landscape for me and walking a clear path, that of heaven, of the peaceful warriors who decorate our history every single second in a temple of truth. This was made to be caressed, a sanctuary evolving patiently as an inner smile that grows constantly and effortlessly so as to make us happy. No material things anymore. No broken promises in disguise. Just pure emotions, our naked truth. Could it be magic? Say yes, please. Adhesive fire showering my painful tears in you. Breathing stronger, grasping for some air. Where are you now? Tell me, are you here?
Driving an empty road, frozen as I touch the blue sky, extremely cold, feel the warmest embrace as an unexpected welcome. How can happiness be measured? The sun goes down as I pull over and feel the cool air in me. Trying to find my way through snowy terrains so as not to get lost. Is she there lightning my path now? Flawless, unrecognizable me reaching you, waiting for the shining star at large, is it on the loose? Afraid of losing myself there. Ah, life in blue, dressed in joy and picturing harmony forever.
Blue, blue everywhere as if silent palettes of the sky artist were to be me, you, both dressed as one, covered in foggy clothes. Breaking apart, running, falling deep…Why us? Where is my heart to be? Frantic escape to the land, my secret garden again…Craving to caress the open seas that are to approach my soul. Come now. Waiting, impatiently, for her to be my silent witness. Come now…I whispered, incessantly, breathless, agonizing, begging for more air…
Begging for air, begging for life, craving for more air. Where is her halo? Walking in unexplored paths and wondering if an end would draw more colors in me, in you, in us…Trying to find our way out of the mundane… and here comes the brightest of the suns, predicting an ethereal victory and thus, showing the real truth in us: craving. Pending feelings enrolled in a silent war within…within me and devouring the anger for more. Grasping for the vibrant emotion that is to reside in me, in you, in us.
Tripping on a blue hole where I hide my true self, where I can express my need for a vast land growing colorful landscapes in me, in us, in this truly impressive land ahead of us. And I reminisce of those ancient days full of joy: conquering, crawling inner smiles that are to diminish my growing pains…Breathing strongly, fresh new leaves in bloom, flying high in your smiling heart…come to me, I said…my Sanctuary in you…
And I see the Blue color surrounding every minute, every hour of my true existence beyond this silent world, getting brighter and creating a score of unique music to be released: You. Tempting, captivating, recreating emotions growing louder, incessantly louder; infinite emotions challenging the very silent wind in me, in you, in us…Approaching storm of unexplored feelings: Deep
Tripping on a blue hole I grow bigger, my soul flying higher than birds, all over the mountains, as far as I wish, in ancient lands where pureness of love used to live once. Let’s get together as one, a marvelous paper heart hidden in gold silent words whispering unity, forgotten empathy of the broken dreams, holding all the pieces together. Just feel it winning.
(c) 2017 Begoña Montesinos
About Bego: I was born in Santa Cruz de Tenerife (Canary Islands, Spain), a beautiful city that is to embrace my soul every day. I live in ancient La Laguna (Unesco World Heritage Center) with my partner.
I'm an English teacher who really enjoys what I do, that is, getting to inspire others and motivate them to be better and have a precious smile at all times.
I do believe in LOVE and following your heart no matter what and I see empathy as the most powerful weapon ever since it can change the world!
I love to travel as traveling is to be my passion: it is what defines me as a person. Also I love to read and write. I take photographs as I walk this life through mysterious paths. I consider myself to be lucky enough to teach and learn on the process...Education is a unique tool.
Music is what makes my heart happy, my life, my everything. It is what creates a symphony within.
I do believe in us, humans, and our ability to draw picturesque landscapes where others just see a deep void. The future is in us...Rise and love your peers as we aspire to be united and join as one!